It isn’t easy to admit – first of all, to yourself – that you have a fetish. One day you discover that something unusual turns you on; try to brush it off ’cause you think it’s weird; keep getting more and more aroused… and finally understand you’re really into it. The fetish has come out of subconsciousness closet and won’t return back.
Up until my teenage years, I hadn’t given much thought to spanking – mostly because I’d never been subject to it. Seeing Dad’s belt hadn’t caused neither anxiety nor arousal. While reading or watching The Adventures of Tom Sawyer, I hadn’t been fascinated by the famous whipping scene (barefoot moments, on the other hand…).
However, one day – I was 14 or 15 then – I came across a blog dedicated to corporal punishment. In fact, I was googling something about going barefoot at schools; and that blog actually had pictures of unshod teenage boys in the old American schoolhouses… who were switched, strapped and paddled by their strict teachers. Well, what would you expect from a blog named Spanked in School?
Those images were reminiscent of Tom Sawyer’s school – but the boys who got their butts warmed were my age or slighly older. Strangely, something clicked in my mind.
I dived deeper into the blog’s materials and found the real stories about corporal punishment in American schools that took place in the 70s, 80s… and nowadays. I had no idea some states still allowed it! Where I live, school whippings have been outlawed a long time ago. And the more I read, the more I wished they hadn’t.
Somehow the idea of getting my buttocks hit with some leather or wooden object started to seem attractive to me. I didn’t even try to think why. I became a regular reader (and later, commenter) of the Spanked in School blog, found something pleasant in every new post and still considered myself straight despite getting aroused by red-bottomed barefoot guys.
My interest in spankings seemed to wear off after I’d started a relationship with a girl; so, I thought it had just been a weird phase or something like that. But after some time it became clear that the fetish had just made room for… the other, more conventional turn-ons. It was still there, somewhere in a dimly lit corner of my mind, and I decided to consider it.
Unfortunately, by that time Spanked in School had been shut down (alas, I still can’t find some of my favourite pictures!). But I had the whole Internet to explore my spanko nature, and I found plenty of fascinating websites – Spanking Central, MMSA, Boyz Being Boyz just to name a few.
After a while, it was clear that even though my interest had started with male/male spanking, disciplinary scenarios with a female on the giving or the receiving end were a great turn-on too. And, surely, by that moment I’d admitted to myself my obvious bisexuality. Thank you Internet! No, seriously, it did a great job helping to explore my peculiarities.
Interestingly, I’ve never considered both of my fetishes – going barefoot and getting spanked – as signs of submissive behaviour. Instead, I see a young man with black soles and red bottom as tough (in body and in mind), manly and badass. Right, like a teenage Tom Sawyer. This way, being a spanko aligned with my personality, and I accepted it.
The only trouble back then was the growing desire to get my own butt whipped by someone else. I couldn’t imagine explicitly asking my parents for corporal punishment, and they never seemed eager to use it, even though I was quite an insufferable teenager who could throw a tantrum at any time. During one of those violent outbursts, however, I got a hard smack of a hand on my bare bottom! Unfortunately, that was enough to calm me down. Later that day, I wished the smack had been followed by a proper spanking; but who knows how it would change our relationship?
I got my first no-nonsense ass-warming only at the age of 19, when I had the courage to come out of the spanko closet to my girlfriend. But that’s another story for another time…